Christmas

Christmas is the day Jesus was born, as they say. And as many views and perspectives arose, it has also been a controversy whether Jesus was really born on December 25th. But no, I am not here to argue with you when He was really born. But I want to tell you, He was born. Really. Whenever you think that may be.

Mary gave birth to Jesus, and He died on the cross.

For me. For you.

Isn't it amazing to think someone was destined to live in order to die? And He didn't just remain dead. On the third day, Jesus rose again depicting no power of grave and hell could ever stop the love He displayed and gave. And that is the reason we are alive.

And so whatever is holding you back for spending your "Merry Christmas," I want you to know the breath you take is one great miracle. One great manifestation that love always wins. God's love wins. Always. Live now for the One who died for you.

Dear, celebrate. You are redeemed.

Not yet.

I miss you.

Is it weird? I probably wasn't even able to meet you yet. Or maybe I knew you, passed by you, bump into in a grocery store. I really don't know. But I miss you. I miss how you'll warm my hands in this shivery weather. I miss how you'll share your sweater with me 'cause you know I really don't like cold. How you'd panic when I start developing my rashes due to it. I miss you. 

I miss how you'll greet me a good morning when the sun starts to rise, and how you'll tell me to get full before I go to school. I miss how you'll randomly text me how much you love me in the middle of the day. I miss how you'll watch the stars with me at night. At how many shooting stars we'll see then. I miss how you'll hug me and make me feel I am protected with the warmth of your embrace, and how you make me feel loved with one forehead kiss. I miss you.

I miss everything about you. And you've been running in my mind the whole time. I miss you and I want to be with you.

But not now. Not yet.

I miss you but please don't show up yet.

Not now. For I know I can't invest too much emotions yet. I would probably hold back every now and then with the thought I could lose you anytime. Not now. Because I might still remember how I had given trust and see how it broke in the end. Not now. Not until I have seen myself so complete. That I will have love too much that it overflows and I could share it again.

Not now. For you're probably not ready too. You might have had your heart broken a lot of times also. Not now. Because you'll probably think I am like other girls who left you. Not now. Not until you have seen yourself complete. That you will have love too much that it overflows and you could share it again.

And then, we'll share it to each other.

I miss you, my love. 

But not now. Not yet.

Christian tendencies.

I have this tendency of being reminded of everything I did wrong in the past. That one voice is going to haunt me repetitively saying I am a sinner and I am unworthy. I'd be reminded of the pain. The what-if's. Resounding regrets.

But I know those are lies. 

This moment is what I am going through right now. And I am quite surprised how it went tonight. I was busy distracting myself to everything I could do, and so I wouldn't hear that lie on my ears. I stopped a moment, talked to God. And here's how He responded to me. He repeated the statement of a hurting friend on our conversation days ago. "I like what this pain is doing in my life." Most of the times we don't want to get through the hard times. It was never hard to praise God on sunny days. But it takes a deeper faith to remain our stillness in the midst of life storms. We are usually consumed of all the why's in life while God is saying "see what this is going to teach you."

So I'm encouraging myself, (and yes, you too. :)) right now to stay still. And learn from these rough roads. Just as they say that "when your bicycle is about to fall, just lean on the side to which you're falling." And then you'll see, you'll see how far you've gone keeping balanced. Stay blessed xx

Choose God.

The fact I've known God and decided to have a relationship with Him is something I am very grateful about. Countless times I've asked myself, "where would I be without God? How would my life go without Jesus?" I remember the days without God in my life. Depressed. Full of anxieties. High suicidal tendencies. The list goes on and on. All of us are fully aware of that. But with God, you get a bit benign with pain. Not that you don't feel the hurt. But you know, every setback, every downfall, God is up to something. You would not lose hope for the God who placed the stars and calls them by name knows you too. And He values and loves you in a way nobody else can. The love you've been searching everywhere is here. The value you want to feel from other people is found in Him. Indeed, to know that this is the God we serve, that fact alone, is the greatest thing we can hold on to everyday. God is hope. God is security. God is the answer to everything. And so, given the million chance to change what my life has been, I will still choose God. I will choose God everyday.

Random act of kindness.

Random act of kindness isn't really "random" for a Christian. (I think so.) Being one of the spirit's fruit, it manifests on a person with or without personal motivation who is filled by God. So maybe, it's probably more like doing kindness to random people rather than random act of kindness. I've once read that Jesus is in every person we meet. Thinking, Oh, Jesus is everywhere. There's that urge inside the heart that you should give food. Share your money. Listen to your friend's problems. Or simply to smile on an elder you just passed by. COMPASSION. You don't know what it's going to bring you :)

So my story goes like this. I am very fond of street foods. Almost all of it. And of course, my mom won't want me to eat those. So as I was implementing discipline to myself, I started shifting my addiction to adobong mani. :)) (The spicy-covered version. Hahaha.) I always buy to this specific stall. My heart was urged to help him. Yes, compassion. So as his son who is with him as he sells. I was buying P10.00 worth of my favorite adobong mani every night. He would always ask, "Ipaplastic ko pa po ba?" I would say no and smile. He'd thank me and I'll go. So I did the same routine tonight. 

Me: Pabili po nito.

V: Magkano?

Me: Ten pesos po.

V: Ah oo nga pala. Ikaw 'yung palaging bumibili namumukhaan kita.

Me: *smiles*

V: Sa'n ka ba nakatira iha?

Me: Dyan lang po sa may likuran.

V: Hindi ko na ibabalot 'to diba?

Me: Opo. 

V: Ang bait mong bata. :)

I saw him that he added more to what I bought. That's his business. That's probably all their family got. But he still gave me more than what I paid for. Thank you too, Kuya. You too have a good heart. :)

Justified.

There will be times and it's gonna happen. That voice will haunt you, telling you're unworthy, sinful, never-good-enough. You'll remember each and every sin you've done. How you've lived an unlawful life. You're gonna remember that. You'll be reminded of everything you did wrong. Yes. I still ask myself where would I be if I have never known Jesus. Because knowing Him isn't the end of trouble, nor the start of a smooth-sailing journey. There are bumps along the road. You'll stumble. You'll fall. But God was great. "When I lost my grip, You held me tight." And not just tight. It was the safest hold. When it attacks you, remember love, remember grace. Remember the cross. God wants you to live free. Remember Him. We are loved more than we know. 

God, thank You for Your grace. You're love perfected me. Thank You for everything.

Once in a blue moon

I went home last night and my mom told me, "Nak, blue moon bukas. Sabi nila kung sino raw kasama mo habang blue moon, s'ya makakasama mo habang buhay." So sweet of my mom. She knows I'm into stars (and sun), moon, galaxies, meteors and all of it (and that's why she said it.) But that thing about "kasama mo habang buhay." Struck me a wee bit more.

So this is for you, my future husband. :)

The moon looks great and yes, this moment really is once in a blue moon. I may have known you for long but we aren't yet aware that we're made for each other. Maybe this is a bit of a long-distance relationship because I'm just about to meet you in the future. LOL. I probably passed by you, or vice versa. Wherever you are, I hope you're doing good and you're happy. :) When the time's right and God's will finally unveiled, I'd swear to you all of my heart and love you with all of it. I'm imperfect and I am prone to failures. I may disappoint you. But I hope above all of our frailty, God meets us and reminds us He's the foundation of all. And for that, we won't give up. You'd be the proof of my answered prayers. And I will be proof of yours too. We'll say I do. We'll have a happy and contented family. We'll prove forever. Not because of our love for each other but because of God's love <3

We may have missed seeing the blue moon tonight. But the next time this appears again, we'll be together. We'll witness all the possible meteor showers visible to our naked eyes. We'll take pictures of the beautiful sunset. And wake up to wondrous sunrise. We'll count the stars. And each moment will be unforgettable.

My love, this  is just for now. I'll be with you soon. In God's perfect time. :)

Pain.

Dealing with pain I think will forever be a difficult thing to do. I've encountered a lot of people's differences dealing with pain. But anger/hatred is one of the messiest responses. I think it's been a nature of people. Well of course, how can you not be angry to a person who hurt you? It seems to be the proper thing to do. But, whether you'd agree to me or not, it isn't. Definitely it is not.

You see, anger is like a parasite. And you being its host, it's gonna get you harmed. It would feel good at first. When you're angry and try to avenge. You see them hurt and you're happy. But time would pass, and you'd seem not to be contented with it. You'd want to hurt them more. You'd get angry more and more. 

It will leave you thinking at night. It's going to kill your peace. It will steal your happiness. You'd see you're spending more time to hate than have happiness.

Anger seems to be the proper thing to do. But anger is not how mature people respond. Try dealing with pain and show it love. Gain happiness. Look for light and you'd see how the dark seem to disappear.

Pain may be inevitable. But you, can deal with it. :)

The perks of being a graduating student.

Nostalgic. It was like yesterday,writing student number with course, year and section for the first time. And yesterday on the first long exam, finally come to write BSChemistry 4-1. It was all mixed emotions. Specifically, being late on that class due to some thesis errands. Catching up with breath. And a bit worried of answering the long exam. Questions aren't as easy as 1+1 anymore. Definitely it's the last year of College.

Schedule indicates more vacant days. Registration cards says less units. But the last wave of major subjects has a lot more demands. Thesis causes sudden change in plans. And 24 hours seems not to be enough for a day.

The pressure is on. Parents expects so much. The board exam is approaching. You want to do good. Failure slaps you in the face. Everything's just so messy inside your head. And you don't know what to do.

BREATHE. Just breathe. You've come so far and you can do more.

Breathe. And try to do it again. You can get through this. Like how you got through each trial when you said you can't take it anymore.

Breathe. You already did great. And you can do more.

Breathe.

On your wedding day...

On your wedding day, everything's gonna be set. The venue's gonna be great. Whether you want it to be held in church, beside the beach, on a beautiful garden. Wherever that'll be, it will be perfect. Your closest friends will be there. Your family will be one of the happiest. Everyone's gonna wait for you walking down that aisle. Your groom will be sweating out of his happy-nervous-excited feels all intertwined. But he's still the most handsome guy in the room. And you. You'd be the most beautiful girl in that white gown. The pain you feel today, so as all your heartbreaks from your past will not count anymore. Because those not so good memories lead you to that moment. Making you think it was all worth it. That guy waiting for you in the altar, will erase all those pain forever. He's the one you've prayed for so long. And he's gonna be a proof of answered prayers. :)

My dear, that's day gonna come. And that day will be perfectly unforgettable. 

God is already preparing it for you. :) 

Coincidence.

I really don't know what came up into my mind but I feel like writing about coincidence. Probably because of such things happening at school where one of my closest friends is quite frustrated and regretful for the past decisions he's made. I am one of his confidants and there are really times I'd run out of comforting words and all I want to do is tap his back and say, "I'm just here."

Accidents. Coincidence. Good things, or even the bad ones. Whether they are the effect of our decisions, or it just happened out of nowhere, I do believe, nothing is just a coincidence. Yes, you may or may not agree with me. I respect that and I understand. Remember I don't write this to persuade you, I just want to let the stream of my consciousness flow. So yea here it is. Nothing is a mere coincidence. Everything is just as it is. Maybe what changes things really is how we respond to them. Happenings don't change us. We decide to let it change ourselves.

When we grow older and start looking back, maybe what we'd regret more was the moments we should have spent happier. But if you're happy everyday, there really is nothing to regret about. Things may change, A year ago, a month ago, is extremely different. But what you are today is the product of what you chose to be. ;)

The Clash: Preparing for War (Week 1)

(Disclaimer: I do not own any of these words. These notes are taken down during Ptr. Paul's preaching, June 11, 2015, 5pm, Victory U-belt service. Check Victory Ubelt's site to check its podcast.)

Accepting Jesus as your Lord and Savior is like signing up for a war.

Ephesians 6:10-13

1. There is a clear, present enemy. The devil, itself.

• The devil is present from the the stage of Adam and Eve.
• We are fighting against it's schemes and works.

2. We are wrestling with the devil.

• Wrestle - Struggle (Greek)
• Struggle against the enemy.

3. Stand firm against the devil schemes.

• Say no to the enemy.

Is it really possible to stand against the devil scheme/s?

YES!

How can we stand firm?

Apostle Paul said, Let's use the armor of God to stand against the devil schemes.

The Armor of God - Two weapons the enemy fear

Luke 4:1-2

Jesus was in wilderness, and was tempted by the devil.

Jesus in wilderness vs Adam in Garden of Eden
Wilderness - dry, arid, desert + tempted = UNFAVORABLE
Garden of Eden - provisions are there

You are always in a battle.
Whether you are in a good or bad situation, you are in a battle. SO DON'T PUT YOUR GUARD DOWN.
He attacks you in crucial moments. He attacks your weakest points.

CRUCIAL POINTS
1. Identity (Luke 4:3)

• Sonship of Jesus Christ
• God loves you and forgives you but the devil destroys that identity.

2. Control (Luke 4:5-6)

• Authority

3. Security (Luke 4:9-11)

• Ego
• The devil to put our security on him.

HOW DID JESUS RESPOND?

1. Know the bible. Know the word of God.

• Prepare.when the devil attacks.
• When Jesus was attacked by the devil, Luke 4:4
• The word of God is like a sword.
• KNOW THE WORD OF GOD.
• Romans 10;17

Know the word of God. But knowing, is just winning half of the battle. If you really want to be victorious, don't just know it.

2. Live it out. Live out the word of God.

• James 2:17
• It is more than believing in the word. It is more than quoting it. It is about living it out.
• Don't just say it, LIVE IT OUT.
• Act on your faith,
• Don't wait for the feeling. Just do it!

Luke 3:21-22

• "With you I am well pleased..."
• Your identity is affirmed in Him.
• You are loved not because of what you do.
• He loves you as you are.

The future is assured—Jeremiah 29:11 ♥

"Go back to Jeremiah 29:11 and remind yourself the future is assured." 

This was a quick revelation to me last Monday so I shared it as a status on my facebook account. People say that we forget more of the basics. TRUE. Jeremiah 29:11 is one of the verses we often encounter. Sad how much it loses it's worth since we know it too much. I bet you could even memorize it word by word, with closed eyes, or even while brushing your teeth, eh? But how much do we know to live by it's meaning?

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

What moved me so much when I was reminded by this verse is that, God knows. God has never forgotten. He said it. "I KNOW." God has a plan. And that plan is a plan that will prosper us and not harm us. Our rebellious heart sometimes shouts Why, Lord? when we don't understand what is happening to our lives. That happens often. And that happens to me too. I am not an exception. We think we know much more than what God has for us.  I've stumbled upon a quote around the web and it says, "God wrecks your plan when your plans are about to wreck you." Nuff said. So isn't it a reason to celebrate everytime God wrecks our plans? Isn't it His way of saying, "I have something better in store for you, my prince/princess." Isn't it a call to be grateful that we are stopped from something that isn't good for us? Isn't it a way to remind ourselves that the future holds something great? :)

So smile, love :) Tomorrow is something better 

Have you ever felt that way too? When you want to write something but you're quite hesitant if somebody, somewhere, will read it? It's like, yes, I want them to read it. But no, I don't want them to read it. Yes. It's confusing. Well, I was confused  too. Haha. I don't have that great writing skills. So please. Don't judge me. I will be writing all these entries just to satisfy my own pleasure that I want to do it. I don't have the need to prove my skills to anyone. So if you feel the same way, just write. Write it for yourself. Do it for yourself. Who cares if you can't use highfalutin words? Who cares if you're just practicing? Just do it. :) Do it. I'm with you :) *fist bump*

First post. Yey! :))

Hurray! :) So I've been thinking about creating a blog at blogger for quite a while. I am greatly fond of speaking. But there are times I still feel like writing my feelings instead of saying it. But there are also times I don't want to spill it with an ink. Haha. So here it is. :) Congratulations for this new achievement, self. :)